How We Grieve: Relearning the WorldOxford University Press, 1996 - 201 pages What do we do when a friend, relative, or loved one dies? If we wish to understand loss experience, we must learn details of survivors' stories. In How We Grieve, Thomas Attig tells real-life tales to illustrate the poignant disruption of life and suffering that loss entails. He shows how through grieving we meet daunting challenges, make critical choices, and reshape our lives. These intimate treatments of coping hold valuable lessons that address the needs of grieving people and those who hope to support and comfort them. The accounts promote understanding of grief itself, encourage respect for individuality and the uniqueness of loss experiences, show how to deal with helplessness in the face of "choiceless" events, and offers much priceless guidance for caregivers. Grieving is not a process of passively living through stages. Nor is it a clinical problem to be solved or managed by others. How We Grieve shows that grieving is an active, coping process of relearning how to be and act in a world where loss transforms the fabric of our lives. Loss challenges us to relearn things and places; relationships with others, including fellow survivors, the deceased, and even God; and most of all ourselves, including our daily life patterns and the meanings of our own life stories. |
Contents
Listening and Responding | 3 |
We Need Not Be Helpless 25 | 25 |
Respecting Individuals When They Grieve | 63 |
Relearning the World | 99 |
How Are We to Understand Ourselves in Loss | 134 |
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Common terms and phrases
actively anguish appreciate behaviors believe bereavement Bill and Diane Bobby Bobby's death C. S. Lewis caregivers caring challenges Chapter choose Colin Murray Colleen comfort connection continue coping capacities coping with loss daily David deceased depressive illness develop Diane's died dispositions Earl Ed and Elise Ed's Elise Elise's emotion grief encourage extreme grief face facets fear feel fellow survivors flourishing friends funeral grieving persons helpless hopes ideas identity impossible return individuals interaction Jennifer John Bowlby Kathryn let go life's companion lives longer lose Margaret Mark's Martin and Louise Mary meaning meaningful memories mother motivations mourners Murray Parkes Myra Myra's pain parents patterns physical places present reality recognize relationships relearning the world response reweave rience Robert Lifton seek self-concepts self-confidence self-esteem sense share Sheila social stories struggle suffering support group tasks things tions understanding unique viable vulnerable wonders