The Favorite Child: How a Favorite Impacts Every Family Member for LifePrometheus Books, 2011 M02 2 - 302 pages For more than thirty years, veteran clinical psychologist Ellen Weber Libby has been helping successful, often-powerful clients in Washington, DC--a place known for its outsized personalities--deal with their personal problems. One pattern that has emerged out of some 60,000 hours of therapy is what she calls "the favorite child complex." In this groundbreaking book, she describes in intimate detail how being the favorite child can confer both great advantages and also significant emotional handicaps. While many of Dr. Libby''s clients are successful because of their favorite-child status--they have been brought up to believe that they can do anything and are unafraid of challenges-- they suffer from an array of personality problems. Behind the outward appearance of money, power, charm, and attractive looks, they feel an intense pressure to maintain the façade at all costs. Sometimes their ability to tell the truth becomes shaky; sometimes their intimate relationships are elusive. In a series of chapters that offer insightful vignettes from actual therapy sessions (the identities of clients are disguised), Dr. Libby explores why parents, consciously or unconsciously, choose a favorite child, as well as the long-term effects of being the favorite son or daughter of either or both parents. She also discusses family situations where parents have successfully made each of their children feel favored and have instilled in their children a healthy emotional balance. She details parental skills and family processes that increase the likelihood of this type of success and that, most importantly, reduce the risk of the favorite child''s curse--power corrupted. Illuminating for adults trying to come to terms with their own emotional baggage as well as parents seeking the best way to rear their children, The Favorite Child makes for rewarding reading. |
Contents
Preface | 9 |
Every Family Has Its Story | 27 |
Known to All | 45 |
The Favorite Child Complex | 65 |
Theyre All My Favorites | 99 |
Rewards and Risks of Being the Favorite | 123 |
CHILDRENS STORIES | 151 |
Fathers Favorite Son | 153 |
Mothers Favorite Son | 199 |
Mothers Favorite Daughter | 213 |
The Overlooked Child | 241 |
Conclusion | 257 |
275 | |
Notes | 277 |
283 | |
Fathers Favorite Daughter | 179 |
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Common terms and phrases
Abigail accepted achieve adored adult Alex Alex’s amygdala Annemarie baby Beatrice became behaviors believed Beth Beth’s birth brain brother career caretaker Carole challenge chapter Cheryl chil child’s childhood children grow Chip Taylor confidence daugh David Livingston developmental Dick Cheney dren Ed’s Edward emotional experience Faith family members father father’s favored favorite child complex favorite child status favorite children feelings felt fetus friends grew Hank healing healthy hippocampus husband impact infant James James’s John John’s learned lives Marissa marriage married Morris mother’s favorite child mother’s favorite daughter Nate Nate’s needs nonverbal communication Oedipus older oldest overlooked pain Paul Wolfowitz person Phyllis physical powerful parent primogeniture psychological psychotherapy reflected relationship resentment response rewards riences role Sara Roosevelt Scooter Scooter Libby siblings sister skills sociopaths sons story struggle tension Teri Teri’s therapy tion tionship trust truth uncon unconscious wanted wife woman women Yolanda young Zoe’s