How We Grieve : Relearning the World

Print version:

Introduction to the Revised Edition; 1. Stories of Grieving: Listening and Responding; Martin and Louise; Jennifer; Bill, Diane, and Margaret; Ed, Elise, and David; Kathryn; Colleen; Stories Are the Heart of the Matter; Bereavement, Grieving, and Mourning Defined; Why Do People Look to Books on Grieving?; They Seek General Understanding; They Seek Respect for Individuality; They Seek Ways to Deal with Helplessness in Grieving; They Seek Guidance for Caregivers; 2. Grieving Is Active: We Need Not Be Helpless; The Story of Martin and Louise; Jennifer's Story. Bereavement Is Choiceless, But Grieving Is NotGrief Is an Emotion, Grieving a Coping Process; Grief, Motivation, and Helplessness; The Attractions of Grief; We Must Choose to Overcome Grief; Some Say We Grieve in Stages or Phases; Some Describe Our Grieving in Medical Terms; Is It Helpful to Talk of Stages, Phases, and Medical Analogies?; Some Say That as We Grieve We Address Tasks; A Task-Based, Active View; We All Have Some Choices as We Grieve; Grieving Is Active: A Summary; The Idea Provides General Understanding; The Idea Promotes Respect for Individuality. The Idea Addresses the Helplessness of BereavementThe Idea Provides Guidance for Caregivers; 3. Respecting Individuals When They Grieve; The Story of Bill and Diane; Respecting Individual Ways of Flourishing; We Find Meaning in Activity; We Find Meaning in Experiences; We Find Meaning Through Connection; Respecting Individual Vulnerabilities; We Are Vulnerable in Our Connections with Those Who Die; We Are Vulnerable to Loss of Wholeness; We Are Vulnerable to Anguish over Unfinished Business; We Are Vulnerable to the Lingering Effects of Hurtful Relationships with Those Who Die. We Are Vulnerable to "Disenfranchised" GrievingWe Are Vulnerable Because of the Circumstances of Some Deaths; We Are Vulnerable to Limits in Our Coping Capacities; We Are Vulnerable in Challenging Social Circumstances; Respecting Loss in Others; What Our Self-Respect Requires; 4. Relearning the World; The Story of Ed and Elise; How We Relearn Our Worlds; The Worlds We Relearn; We Relearn Our Physical Surroundings; We Relearn Our Relationships with Fellow Survivors; We Relearn Our Selves; We Relearn Our Places in Space and Time; We Relearn Our Spiritual Places in the World. The Power of the Relearning IdeaThe Idea Provides General Understanding; The Idea Promotes Respect for Individuality; The Idea Addresses Our Helplessness; The Idea Provides Guidance for Caregivers; 5. Relearning Our Selves: Grief and Personal Integrity; David's Story; Margaret's Story; How Are We to Understand Ourselves in Loss and Grief?; How We Become the Selves We Are; Our Selves in Loss and Grief: Elaborating the Image; As We Cope, We Engage with and Move Beyond Suffering; We Struggle to Put Our Shattered Lives Back Together; We Seek New Ways to Complete Our Life Stories